Marriage: Still Relevant? Absolutely.

In light of the recent US marital scandals, a fascinating, insightful article
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1908243-1,00.html

From the article's conclusion:

The fundamental question we must ask ourselves at the beginning of the century is this: What is the purpose of marriage? Is it — given the game-changing realities of birth control, female equality and the fact that motherhood outside of marriage is no longer stigmatized — simply an institution that has the capacity to increase the pleasure of the adults who enter into it? If so, we might as well hold the wake now: there probably aren't many people whose idea of 24-hour-a-day good times consists of being yoked to the same romantic partner, through bouts of stomach flu and depression, financial setbacks and emotional upsets, until after many a long decade, one or the other eventually dies in harness.

Or is marriage an institution that still hews to its old intention and function — to raise the next generation, to protect and teach it, to instill in it the habits of conduct and character that will ensure the generation's own safe passage into adulthood? Think of it this way: the current generation of children, the one watching commitments between adults snap like dry twigs and observing parents who simply can't be bothered to marry each other and who hence drift in and out of their children's lives — that's the generation who will be taking care of us when we are old.

Who is left to ensure that these kids grow up into estimable people once the Mark Sanfords and other marital frauds and casual sadists have jumped ship? The good among us, the ones who are willing to sacrifice the thrill of a love letter for the betterment of their children. "His career is not a concern of mine," says Jenny Sanford. "He'll be worrying about that, and I'll be worrying about my family and the character of my children." What we teach about the true meaning of marriage will determine a great deal about our fate.

Paul Washer on Finding a Mate

I ran across a random clip today, from a Paul Washer message, not even sure what the message was from. But a friend and I had a conversation and this quote (mostly word-for-word, I was transcribing from audio) from the message got my attention, so I share:

God does not search around to find a mate that's totally compatible with you. Most probably he's going to find you a mate that's incompatible with you.

He's going to give you a mate in all the areas that you need them to be strong so that "you are not tempted more than you can bear" but he's also going to give you a mate who fails in some of the areas that you most do not want them to fail so that you become like Jesus... what does that mean? So that you learn to love someone unconditionally that does not meet the conditions.

Interesting thoughts... and based on an understanding of the fatherly discipline of the Lord and the incisive work of the Holy Spirit, I believe it is biblically consistent, even if humanly we fight the idea (because especially in this case, we're looking for a "soul-mate", not a walking spiritual Bowflex (a workout machine)). No one willingly walks into a situation that promises intense humbling. However, just like the old saying goes, "it's good for you". That sounds stoic, but it's meant to challenge you, measure it up to scripture and then do as you see fit.

Marriage on the Mind

Surely, marriage is an economic contract to provide for children and to take care of mothers while they bear kids and bring them up--but it is much more than that. It is the means this animal, Homo Sap., has evolved--quite unconsiously--for performing this indispensible function and be happy while doing so.
Robert A. Heinlein, Time enough for Love

Science Fiction is an amazing source to me of the world's mind. Sometimes, things that I read in these stories just stick out at me and help clarify some of the places reason takes man, without God.

This passage above seems like a reasonable statement (evolutionary theory aside). But there's so much missing. When I move into the Biblical realm, I see that marriage is not just an association for convenience and propagation. Marriage is a sacred ordination by God himself. And why is it sacred? To us who believe, the love of a husband and a wife is a profound illustration (or should be, Eph 5) of God's love for us. So marriage, God's way, is so much more than Mr. Heinlein outlines. More than just to make oneself happy, even more than just to make the other spouse happy. It is that God is exalted and explicitly seen as glorious through the union of two redeemed hearts.

And there's so much more.