She's got a ticket to ride....

This is satirical... please don't ask me silly questions.

Have you ever wanted to get away with almost anything? To have a ticket to inculpability, as it were, that lets you do mostly what you want with blissful abandon? Just thinking about such a thing makes me fear a world of anarchy and lawlessness. But the most devastating truth lies in the fact that this thing has existed for aeons, right under our noses. Women have "it" and it comes in the form of 4 worrisome words - "It's a Girl Thing". And the ones who suffer the brunt of this assault are men (and maybe very manly women, but that's for another day).

For example:

Woman: "Can I take your credit card and shop till we're in three decades of debt?"
Well, the man to whom this is addressed would ordinarily, if in his right mind, not even consider the possibility of this being a serious question. But then the trump card:
Woman: "It's a Girl Thing".
All of a sudden, there is no argument. The question WAS serious, and the credit card is handed over, along with the wallet and ID and 50 signed blank checks. It's like magic.

Or another example:

Consider this scenario - A man pulls a Three Stooges and makes a complete fool of himself. Justly, he can expect nothing but grief from his woman. It's what should happen. And it's what usually does, as most men will know.
But turn it around: The woman does a Lucy. Ahah! The man is ready with guns drawn: it's payback time. But then those ill-fated words "sorry dear, it's a woman thing". All of a sudden the man joins the woman on the table, and sings Cuban party songs, Desi Arnaz style.

There is a strange power here. Logic has nothing to do with it. But imagine the possibilities if this is properly harnessed.

Think about the Cold War. Had either the US or Russia decided to be smart, they would have installed a female leader. Said country would then be free to do what they wanted, no threat of war.

For Example, if Russia had a female leader:

High Level Phone Call from male US Premier to Russian Premier: "Um... Madam, you've just launched a nuclear missile, and it seems to be heading toward Texas"
Russian Reply: "Yes, Comrade, it's a woman thing".
American Response: "Uh... Ok.... I guess we can do without ONE state. Hope you feel better! I'm sending you flowers."

And so there is peace in the world, even if the US is less one section of real estate. However, if BOTH the US and Russia were to install a leader of the Feminine type, then that would be a whole different story, and I don't Imagine I would be around to type this little satire, or that you would be around to read it. At least not with the normal number of limbs or heads.

I'm still trying to figure out the point of this whole spiel, but I would imagine somewhere in here is the realization that us men just need to suck it up - sure life has a few Texas-sized smoking holes, but small price to pay for peace.

I better end this, I have no ticket to indemnity.